Monday, December 31, 2012


My heart was pounding loudly as I entered M.A. Chindambaram yesterday morning.  I was dressed in my Team India jersey, and the tricolor flag was splashed across my cheeks. With the ticket clutched in my palm and my my friend beside me, I made my way to my designated seats. Luckily the crowd hadn't settled in stand "I" yet, so Keerthana and I could stand near the gate or whatever it is that separates us from the players and watch them practice. It was such a wondrous feeling.

Next to our stand, Raina and some bowler was practicing. I watched in awe, as one of the most talented batsmen of the Indian cricket team practiced his batting next to me. After that, the entire team came out and had some practice routine in front of me. My eyes scanned for one and one person alone- my idol, my hero- Virat Kohli. As soon I s spotted him, Keerthana and I started calling out for him. After a point I was speechless and I was just waving wildly. That's when he miraculously turned around, saw me waving, and gave a tiny wave back. I couldn't believe it. I guess that made my day, in so many ways.

Then while they were talking, the both of us cheered for Gauti. I am super proud to announce that he turned back and responded exclusively to the both of us. :'D It was one of the best moments of the day, needless to say. The practice session was such a delight to watch. All the players were doing their own thing- laughing, joking around and practicing hard for the game ahead. The entire ground was cheering and screaming. What a fine frenzy it was!

The 8 hours comprising the match were perhaps the best 8 hours of 2012 for me. First, I witnessed an India-Pakistan ODI live. Second, I got to see my favourite, Virat Kohli play live for the third time.  Third, it was epic. Enough said.

Being there, chanting the names of the various players, screaming and begging them to perform...those moments and memories are so special, so surreal, that I can't even explain. In  college I'm this girl who is loud, but guarded and walled up. But in the stadium, those walls was as if they never existed. I was the true me, the real me. It was like I had been caged all my life and like I had been set free right then and there. All inhibitions were gone. I screamed my louds, cheered my best, swore when things went wrong, supported them throughout. I danced, sang and completely let lose. I had never felt more alive. I had never though that I had it in me, to be this person, to shed every single layer of fear and consciousness I had and to It was like that. Such an experience.

Being there, screaming and cheering, Gods, it was out of the world. The recent gang rape case had filled me with a certain kind of resentment for my country. But being there, yelling and chanting my lungs out, I forgot everything. In my dad's words "Nothing brings India together like cricket and war". That moment everyone forgot that they were from different places, had different opinions, castes or religions. It didn't matter. All that mattered was Team India winning. The screams and the names called out were in unison. Unity was there all over. No one faltered. It was the same name on everyone's lips.

I am not as well versed in cricket like Aishu or my dad is. I don't know the technicalities. But I know one thing- I wanted India to win. That was all I was praying for. Each ball, each swing of the bat, I observed everything this time. Each time our bowler surged forward I jumped out of my seat screaming out his name. Each time our batsman lifted his bat his name was on loop on my lips. The passion coursed through me as I did the bhangra. I felt the electricity, the current. I felt the life, the importance, the depth. It was out of the world, it was surreal. No alchololic drink, no nothing could give anyone this kind of high.

The electric current that passed through all of us, the raw passion that burst out of our every moment, every word, it was overwhelming, perfect, heavenly, and surreal. It was out of the world. Unparallel, unbeatable (like the title of my previous cricket match blog title). An out of body, out of world. Only one word came uttered out of all our mouths. One wish. One prayer. One billion hearts- one wish: India should win.

A picture perfect moment. Hands out, faces wrought with emotions, voices screaming out the country's name, the players giving their best, everyone laughing, crying and emoting everything all at once. All the horrors and tragedies forgotten, even if it was only for a few hours. The tricolor flag all over the stadium. Everything perfect, surreal and heavenly. Quoting one of my favourite books "Perks of Being a Wallflower", and in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Breeding Eternal Misery

"You know what they say about hope- it breeds eternal misery." -Spencer Hastings, Pretty Little Liars.

Being a person who invests a lot of her energy in fictional characters, I tend to think of a lot of quotes said by them during my real life situations. As my friends kept updating me with the scores of the Aus v/s Pak & Ind v/s SA matches while my father drove us home, the above quote by Spencer Hastings was what I kept thinking of.

Hope is such a powerful thing- in the words of President Snow from The Hunger Games, 'Hope, it is the only thing stronger than fear.' Truer words haven't been spoken. Despite all the fear that raced through me during the match, only one thing was stronger than all that fear- hope. Hope that we would play brilliantly, win and enter the semi-finals, hope that our honest and hardworking team would bring the world cup home, hope that good would win over evil. As I clasped my hands knotted in crossed fingers, I kept hoping and praying so much. Despite the gnawing sensation in my head that my precious team wouldn't make it, I still kept hoping.

I have always told everyone that if you lose hope you lose everything, and it's quite true actually. Hope keeps one alive. It sears through your very existence and shines brightly through the darkest of rooms. A flicker of hope is all one needs to move on in life. When people hope, they believe. When they believe, they achieve. When they achieve, they live. Even during the worst of my times I have kept hope.

But off late I have been questioning this very thing called hope. Hope not only keeps you alive, it is also a constant reminder that it could be your very downfall. As I kept hoping for my precious team India to get into the semi-finals, I knew that the stronger I hope, the deeper the cut would be. Hope doesn't just provide one with a reason for living, sometimes it even cuts you open, leaving you vulnerable and open to hurt and sadness. In the words of the intelligent Spencer, it breeds eternal misery.

You keep hoping for something to happen and when it finally doesn't, you feel like a total fool for doing so. This very hope was my downfall during my grandpa's demise. For a whole month, as I saw him deteriorate in front of my eyes I kept hoping he'd be fine again, despite knowing that there was no way that he'd make it. Everyday I kept hoping, because I believed that he would never leave me, his favourite and most special grandchild. When he did leave me, on 1st of July, 2012, I felt thousand times worse than I would have felt had I accepted his impending death a month earlier.

Even after my mother telling me that South Africa had crossed the score of 121, I hoped that we would win and make it into the semi's. When Balaji took that final wicket of Morne Morkel all I could think of was that 'yay, we won, now we can get into the semi's and show everyone else who the true boss is.' And then I saw that terrible sign 'Pakistan enter the finals, India eliminated from the World T20 2012.' That's when reality set in. I saw Virat looking heartbroken, I saw Yuvi talking to the studio about his MOTM looking so disheveled and at that moment the hurt was too much to take in.

I just collapsed on my bed and cursed myself for hoping for the best when I knew in my heart that entering the semi finals was impossible. I mentally slapped myself for believing in the greater good, for believing in humanity, when all I found around me was the victory of the cheaters, the bad guys. I have always maintained that the good will eventually conquer, but you know, it SUCKS when your core beliefs are proven wrong. 

After yesterday's match I didn't know what to believe in anymore. I wanted to stop hoping, because I don't want eternal misery. So many times I think that the state of total unfeeling would be such bliss. I wouldn't have to worry about getting hurt by the results of a match, or worry about the future of my favourite TV show couple. I would just live, and let live. But is it possible for a person like me to strip myself of all the faith, hope and belief that I have accumulated over the years? The very own essence of my personality is that I'm an optimist, a believer, someone who looks for the silver lining in every situation. Will I be able to truly change that? Only time will tell.

Right now, I'm too hurt, disappointed and disturbed with what I've seen around me. No, I'm not talking about just the loss. I'm also talking about the immense amount of hate Virat is receiving for god-knows-what reasons. Graphics are being made out of pictures of him crying, and heartless jokes of him not having a father are being cracked. I saw some Pakistani fan with a shirt that said 'Kohli ka baap.' I felt the bile in my mouth when I saw that picture. I just wanted to rip apart that person and all his/her friends and family for their pathetic and inhuman thoughts. Country based rivalry I can understand, but taking digs at an innocent man about not having a father is just NOT right. 

I also saw a girl post crap about rape being okay if the victims are Indians and Gods, I am ashamed to say I live on the same planet as that despicable being! Get a grip over yourself. Rape is NOT okay, not even for a pathetic excuse for a human like Dolores Umbridge. NO woman deserves that. NO ONE. You call yourself a woman/girl, but I certainly have my doubts about that now! Such things, such people make me weep for humanity.

I guess I'm done with the topic. I had to get all this out of my chest and I just did. I feel as horrible and shitty as I did yesterday. Our country deserved to win and not some losers who played mind games and cheated like crap! True heroes are those who conquer by honest and sincere means, not those who twist everything to their advantage. We Indians are true heroes, our team is the best and we will bleed blue forever.

And to those idiots (such a mild word) who insulted Virat, here's something for you- Virat Kohli is a good man. An honest man, and a humble man. He is the best damn batsman in the world and nothing you say or do will change that. He loves the game and his country and he has, and will continue making us proud. He is an amazing person and we are lucky to have him. He is God's gift to India. Your country or team doesn't deserve a man like Virat Kohli. You know why? Because Virat Kohli is a good man.

Always and forever,

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Bleed Blue Forever

They owe it to Sachin, the greatest player till date.
They owe it to Sehwag, who can defeat even Gayle in the game of sixes.
They owe it to Gambhir, who can be so dependable.
They owe it to Virat, their true hope.
They owe it to Raina, who is our best t20 player.
They owe it to Dhoni, who got us two world cups.
They owe it to Yuvi, who just won the biggest battle of anyone's life.
They owe it to Zak, cuz he is our best bowler.
They owe it to Irfan, who never gives up.
They owe it to Bhajji, who made the best comeback ever.
They owe it to Ashwin, our spin master.
They owe it to Rohit, for he fought back.
Most of all they owe it to INDIA, for we shall forever proudly and loyally BLEED BLUE.
And they also owe it to HONESTY and JUSTICE, because cheaters NEVER prevail.

Come on Team India!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Let the magic begin...

TV Show Review: Once Upon a Time

Imagine a world where every character you've ever read of in books are living, breathing people- a world where happy endings exist. And then imagine the most evil witch of all time making a curse where all these characters are transported to our world, with new identities and their memories erased. No one remembers who their parents, children, friends and spouses are. Within a few seconds, their happy endings are turned into living nightmares. 

This is exactly what ABC's Once Upon a Time is about. Ten year old Henry Mills (Jared S. Gilmore) runs away from the fictional town of Storybrook, Maine to find his birth mother Emma Swan (Jennifer Morrison) in Boston as he believes that she alone can unlock the curse that has been put on the residents of his town. He believes that his mother Regina Mills (Lana Parilla) is actually the Evil Witch Queen who cast the spell in the first place. Henry tries to convince Emma that his teacher Mary Margaret Blanchard (Giniffer Goodwin) is actually Snow White and the resident coma patient David Nolan (Josh Dallas) is Prince Charming, and that both of them are actually Emma's parents. According to him, after learning that the Evil Queen was going to bind them with a spell they decide to put their newborn kid in a tree chamber that would keep her safe. After listening to Rumplestiltskin (Robert Carlyle) who tells them that their baby daughter is the only one who can save them, they decide to risk their lives to protect hers.

That is only the basic storyline. As the show progresses each and every fairytale character's back story is revealed, and they are portrayed in an engaging manner of swapping between the Enchanted Forest and Storybrooke. Parallels are shown between the lives of the princess/princes and the modern day people. There are different twists to each classic fairytale and it's such a delight to know each of them.

Unlike in the print version where all the heroines are shown as damsels in distress, in Once Upon a Time the female characters are strong and powerful. The feministic flavour of the show is worth relishing. One might not stumble upon the show with an intention to find such strong characters and they will truly be bowled over. 

The cinematography is out of the world, and the locales are just beautiful. The seamless merging of Storybrooke and the Enchanted Forest is shown so brilliantly, and it's a delight to see how smartly the parallels have been drawn between the fairytale characters and their modern day counterparts. The cast is excellent, especially Morisson and Parilla. Young Gilmore excels as well.

This show is a dream come true for so many people who believe that their favourite fictional characters are actually living breathing people. Like the famous Harry Potter quote goes 'It is real for us'. It instills hope in a person and makes them believe in happy endings. It's such a magical and smooth show that each episode leaves the viewer craving for more. And in the words of Mary Margaret Blanchard, 'Believing even in the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing'.

Let the magic begin!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Unparallel, unbeatable.

Unparallel, unbeatable.

The anticipation and anxiety had taken over my body as I clutched Aishu's hand tightly while the auto-rickshaw jolted all the way from my house to the Chidambaram cricket stadium. On reaching there both of us paid the rickshaw driver and ran towards Gate 5 and 7, from where we were to collect our free tickets and meet with our friends Deeptha, Keerthana and Subashini. The atmosphere outside the stadium was really upbeat. Vendors came upto us and quickly started painting the national flag on our faces. I even bought an Indian flag and waved it around proudly as I walked.

A reporter from NTV walked to us and took our interviews. She asked me who my favourite player was and without a moment's hesitation I said 'Virat Kohli' and Aishu said 'Sachin Tendulkar'. On being asked what we wanted Yuvi to score today, both of us said 'a century, we want him to score a century'. Then Aishu's friend Adithya gave us the tickets and we stood outside gate 5, waiting for our other friends. I was getting all panicky and frantic as the three of them hadn't come yet, but when they did, I screamed out in delight. It was finally happening. I was finally going to see my Team India play live.

We were the only girls in a stadium filled with men, and as worried we were about the fact, we didn't think of it much. We were slightly disappointed to learn that the New Zealand players were practicing near our stands and not our Indian ones. But the minute the first Indian player, Irfan Pathan walked into the grounds all of us in our Nike blue jersey screamed out loud for him. The real screams and cheers were heard when our Punjabi prince, my Muthan incarnate, Yuvraj Singh walked out into the field, taking the blessings of mother Earth.

All of us were chanting ecstatically 'YUVI! YUVI! YUVI! YUVI!'. They wouldn't stop. We could see his face on the screen, grinning happily. Standing next to me, Aishu muttered 'oh God he is smiling, he looks so happy!' I looked at her and smiled broadly. I was so happy to see him. The wound of Muthan's loss was still so fresh in my mind that seeing Yuvi there, fine and healthy after beating the nasty cancer made me very, very happy. I had tears of happiness in my eyes. When Virat entered the field everybody screamed, but I just kind of went silent, I have no idea. I was trying to get a better look, but I didn't scream that much, not then.

Long before the match the five of us had exhausted ourselves. We had already screamed so much. We decided to pause and get some snacks and drinks and take a few photographs. Then it was time for the toss. Dhoni and Ross Taylor walked onto the pitch and within moments we learnt that India had won the toss and had selected to field. All of us cheered loudly once again. Then, before we knew it, it was happening- the match was starting.

For the first over of New Zealand's batting innings, Pathan took a wicket. I jumped up and down, roaring like the wild, untamed lioness I am. I turned to Aishu, who looked puzzled. 'WICKET WICKET WICKET' I screamed, before she burst into a happy dance. During the next over Yuvi was standing in front of our stand - not next to the boundary line, much further, but close enough. All of us began chanting 'Yuvi Yuvi Yuvi' again. He turned around and waved amiably. The crowd grew louder. What an amazing sight it was.

For the next over Virat stood where Yuvi was. The crowd started screaming 'KOHLI KOHLI KOHLI' while I screamed 'VIRAT VIRAT VIRAT'. He turned around and waved at the crowd vaguely. A few minutes later Aishu, Keerthana and I began screaming for him again. While they chanted 'Kohli', I screamed 'Virat'. We screamed so much that he turned around properly, looked at us and waved, grinning that trademark sheepish grin of his. We kept screaming for him that he once again turned around, looked at us and signalled us to increase our cheers. We laughed and did so.

I don't know whether it was my overimaginative brain or something, but I think he did turn around quite a few times, looking at us. Twice during a particular over he came towards the boundary line, and both the times I jumped onto my chair like Damon 'Awesome' Salvatore and called out to him, jumping up and down excitedly. He looked back, waved and laughed. I think all these little moments will remain etched in my memory forever. 

When Ravichandran Ashwin came to our boundary line Deeptha went insane. She started screaming for him so loudly that he turned back and waved to her atleast a hundered times (the poor girl almost lost her voice). The bunch of men sitting next to us were very nice. They weren't the typical lechers, they actually cracked good jokes and even helped Deeptha catch Ashwin's attention. I was glad. Maybe not all men here were creeps.

Then it was India's turn to bat, and my favourite Delhi duo of Virat and Gauti opened the innings. I cheered loudly. Each time Virat was at crease I kept screaming out his name and each time Gauti was at crease I kept screaming out his. Whenever it was Virat's turn to bat I became super anxious. I didn't want him to get out. I kept clutching my copy of Muthan &Ammamma's photo, begging for them to make sure he hits his first T20 century and also that India wins the match.

When he got out I just slumped down on the seat, disheartened. He had hit 70 from 41. I then remembered Muthan's text to me after the RCB vs DC IPL11 match 'Virat Kohli played and fell like a hero'. Truer words haven't been spoken. We were 45 from 42 balls. I believed we would have an easy win, but I had wanted Yuvi and Virat to be there till the end. I hated how the crowd cheered when he got out. I get the fact that they love Dhoni way too much, how would the batsman who just got out feel? 

After that the match lost it's previous feel. Dhoni kept hitting singles and dot balls. Yuvraj's midwicket sixes were like the sky opening up after a period of drought, but all that went down in vain. Virat's brilliant knock went down in vain. Yuvi's comeback went down in vain. Despite all of that, he made the best comeback ever and I was SO SO SO SO proud. It was amazing to watch his mother's face light up on seeing his first six. :') Aishu's face too bore a similar expression.

Sometime in between the match Harsha Bhogle passed our stands and Aishu was left speechless. She kept looking at him, her eyes following her idol as he made way to the dug out. I have never seen this noisy little thing so speechless before and I was so happy for her. I knew exactly how she felt, because I would have been the same if it had been my Queen Jo Rowling in Harsha's place. 

I was so hot headed because we had lost the match by one freaking run. We threw away what truly belonged to us. But we did gain a lot too. We saw Yuvi's much coveted comeback. Virat waved at US and turned back and looked at us randomly. Yuvi did a little bhangra for us. Virat played a brilliant knock. Ashwin turned around and waved at Deeptha. Aishu saw Harsha. Aishu and Keerthana cheered on for Sachin despite him not playing. We lost, but we gained a lot too. The five us also made a bond of friendship unique, since none of the others were there to share this special moment with us. No one else knew what it was like to be there, to experience every moment like we did, to feel what we felt when someone special and close to our hearts waved and grinned at us, to feel the ardenaline rush inside us as a ball went for a sixer. It was truly a one of a kind experience, unparallel, unbeatable, and nothing shall ever come close. After all, it's the little things that make all the difference in the world.

I dedicate this post to Virat- a person who means more to me than I care to admit, Yuvi- who made me feel like my Muthan was still beside me, Aishu- my best friend and partner in crime, Deeptha- who almost lost her voice screaming for Ashwin, Keerthana- who continued cheering for Rohit Sharma even though we taunted her about it and Subashini- who is totally insane and fun to be around. Thank you for the memories.

And with this post I'd also like to take the opportunity to congratulate Virat on winning the 'ICC ODI CRICKETER OF THE YEAR' for his extraordinary performance. No one deserves it more, and I'm very proud. :)


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

An open letter. :)

Dear Crush,
I honestly have no idea what to write to you because I don’t even know whether you qualify as a crush anymore or not, but yeah, I’m still going to write to you. I don’t really believe in the great love anymore. I’ve become really cynical about the concept off late, and trust me, you have no hand in all of that. It’s just something that came from within. I don’t really think I’m capable of being loved like that anyways, but that’s not it.
It is seeing people around me, their obsession with love and boyfriends and relationships. It’s also seeing how people almost lose themselves because of their so called ‘loves’. I don’t like that. Even when I did believe in the great love I knew I was incapable of making my love or boyfriend or husband the center of existence. My family, my friends, my writing and all have been around for way too long for me to weigh one person over all of them/that.
I’ve seen how lightly people take the concept of love. Even after seeing each other for like five years, they conveniently break up and decide they were not meant to be together. What, didn’t they know that during the five years of dating? Did they only suddenly realize how incompatible they are? Bullshit, I tell you. 
Yes, I know I don’t know their story, but still, everything is so frivolous around me, that I don’t believe in the existence of the great, true, everlasting love anymore. The world around us is constantly changing and people are changing and no one values relationships anymore. I’m not talking about romantic relationships, I’m talking about human relations in general. It’s a pity, really.
Then again, I frankly told my mother the other day that I wont marry someone just for the societies or my parent’s convenience. It is my life at the end of the day and I wont compromise on that for any reason. I simply wont. So yes, I’m confused. But I can openly say that I don’t believe in the great love anymore, but if it happens, well and good, and if it doesn’t, well and good again. :)
I wish you all the best in life and may you achieve whatever you want to. :)
That’s the most I could write without giving away who you are, so yeah. :D

Alcohol & Drugs: My view. :)

Just about a few months ago I used to be strictly anti-alcohol. I used to think that drinking was a disgusting habit and ought to be curbed. But then came along this fantasy of mine to get drunk. Like fully drunk. To get high that one single time and just forget about it after that. I thought it’d be fun. I still do, as a matter of fact.
Now, I honestly believe that occasional drinking is not a crime. To go out, socialize for a bit and have a glass of beer/wine/gin/whiskey might not be such a bad thing after all. Some people might even view it as polite. Social drinking is not a problem. As long as one knows to keep her/his drinking under control, it not ought to be a problem. Only if a person resorts to alcohol as a source of comfort or escapade, only then does it become a problem. This will eventually lead to alcoholism, which leads to destruction of physical, mental, emotional and social well being. 
Media largely depicts alcohol as something people resort to when they’ve undergone a break up or a financial crisis. In movies and shows they show the characters going to a bar, drinking their heart out and walking home in a drunken stupor. Media has a large influence on the average person’s life, believe it or not. After seeing this, young (or old) people might end up imitating the character’s actions. Just imagine, while they are walking home, what if they meet with an accident, or get sexually assaulted or die due to overdose? Isn’t that a much more horrible problem than a mere break up? Seriously!
One more thing I can’t understand is the orthodox belief that women mustn’t drink as it’s vile and cheap for them to do so. Why is that so? Just because we belong to the ‘fairer sex’ doesn’t make us any less of humans. Yes, there is the safety bit involved, so in case a woman is going for a drink, it surely is advisable that she has another female friend with her, for obvious safety reasons. If men can drink, so can women. Honestly, I know women drinkers and men drinkers. Some of my very good friends drink occasionally, and trust me when I say that these women are way better than some of the sober men I’ve met in my life as well. So yeah.
Coming to drugs, I think it’s quite stupid for people to experiment with it. Deaths due to drug overdose is more common than deaths due to alcohol abuse. The negative effects of drugs are worse than those of alcohol. I would never, ever try out drugs, because I think I know better than that. I also know to not judge people on their decisions to turn to drugs or alcohol, because frankly, judging is just not right.
At the end of the day I might end up drinking alcohol occasionally in the future, but I know for sure that I will never experiment with drugs. Never.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


In ten years I’d like to be happy. Like truly happy. Blissfully happy. I would love it if after ten years, every day of mine is filled with happiness, not of the usual kind, but that ultimate happiness. I would like to be in peace with myself. I want to get rid of my insecurities and I want to truly accept myself for who I am. I am on the process of doing that, but, perhaps I’m not just there yet. Don’t worry, I will get there soon enough.
In ten years from now I hope to be on a road trip with my closest friends, and blogging about it later on. Or perhaps during the road trip itself? I might actually end up reading this very post then. Okay, I’m starting to sound dumb now. :/ But yes, that’s the intention. Road trip. Friends. Live laugh love. :D
I also hope to be a published author by then. I want to change lives just like my role model J.K. Rowling did. I want to create stories that will live on in the hearts of my readers for the rest of their lives. I want them to escape into my stories when their own lives are too harsh. I want them to find solace and peace in them. I want children to grow up with my characters. I want to introduce at least one child to the joy of reading. :)
There’s one more thing though. Ten years from now I hope to be living up the mountains in a nice cozy cabin. The wind would be howling outside, and the fire would be roaring inside. There will be a nice cozy couch in which I would snuggle, with a nice book in one hand and a cup of hot chocolate in the other.
Dreams. :’)

Monday, January 16, 2012

Random rambling :)

Put it up on my tumblr as a part of one 30 day challenge. :)

I’m not in any relationship, nor have I ever been. And you know what? I have absolutely no regrets about it. I don’t sit and brood over the fact that most people in my college have boyfriends and I don’t. Honestly, I don’t care. I don’t really think that my life is incomplete or anything without a boyfriend. I feel perfectly content with myself. And to be completely honest, I don’t think any of these ‘couples’ will eventually end up getting married, so yeah.
I am really enjoying my single life. I get to do whatever I want and I don’t have anyone fussing over me (besides my parents that is). I’m not answerable to anyone besides myself (and parents, but that is not the point here). I have the freedom and the time to do stuff I love. To do stuff I will do even ten years from now: like reading books, writing, listening to music, spending time with my friends, eating. These things have been a part of me since I was a little kid and I’m pretty darned sure that they will be a part of me even ten years from now.
I believe that I’m better off investing my time doing things that are a permanent fixture in my life, rather than wasting time on relationships that most probably wont last. I know I sound so darned cynical, but that’s what I believe. I think 18 is too young to decide who the love of your life is going to be. I think 18 is the time to do loads and loads of stuff you love. :)
I don’t see myself getting into a relationship in the near (or late) future, truth be told. I just don’t see myself as that kind of a woman. I have always been comfortable with the idea of spending my life alone. And with friends and family, you are not really alone, are you? And better than all of that is the company of books, my true love, so why will I be ALONE? No, I wont. 
I believe that if a person is comfortable in his or her own company, she will be perfectly fine, happy even. Not everyone is going to find a special someone in another person. They should realize that their special someone is they themselves. They should know that they are the number one person in their own life. Then, just then they’ll be able to live a life of complete bliss and solitude. 
I don’t think that the key to happiness is loving someone so much that your heart bursts. To me, the key to happiness is loving yourself to the extent that your heart swells. And this love will neither result in arrogance or conceit. It will just give a person complete, blissful happiness. :)

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Realizations. :)

There comes a point in your life when you realize who is to move on forward with you in your life and who is to stay behind. The people who stayed back in your past did so for a reason, and those who made it from your past to your present did so for an even better reason. You will realize who matters, who never did and who always will. Sometimes just by looking at people you love laughing and smiling, your heart swells with happiness and that moment you know the reason. You know why they are there in your life. You know that their happiness means just as much as your own, and you know that you are going to count your blessings and not look back at the past. The past is then gone. Over.

I used to be a person who thought that planning something always brought out the best result. Today proved me wrong. After a failed attempt at completing an assignment, two of my friends and I suddenly decided to visit the beach. We travelled by two buses and finally reached our destination and it was such a pleasure to have the salty breeze welcome us so warmly

Without much ado, the three of us ran into the water, with our bags and all. For a while we just stood there, letting the water caress our feet. What a feeling it was. Then we decided to go in pairs of two so that one of us could photograph the other two. I let my friends go first as I wanted to photograph them. 

As I watched these two stand by the water and laugh out loud, I felt so warm and giddy inside. It was wonderful. I held onto my camera and photographed away to glory. While I certainly knew that these two meant a lot to me, this moment made me realize just about how much I loved these two friends of mine. 

Soon it was time for me to go and play in the water. I ran over to my friend and we played in the water. We laughed, we got wet, we posed for photographs and what not? I don't remember laughing so much in a VERY long time. I don't remember being this happy in a super very long time. 

Then my other friend came over and we decided to get drenched, head-to-toe. What an experience that was? We just sat down on the shoreline and let the waves hit us continuously. We even lay down on the shoreline so that we could be COMPLETELY drenched. We pretended to be high-five swami's meditating, trains and what not? We even ran around the shoreline, trying to drench ourselves.

In the midst of all this fun, I sat down, letting the waves hit me. I contemplated, I thought. There had been a few things that had been troubling me yesterday, and all of a sudden I realized that I didn't care anymore. I really didn't. I was happy, content and completely at peace. I thought of the people in my life and thanked God for their very existence in my life.

These two beautiful friends of mine were among the reasons why my life was actually wonderful. Their constant support, care and love was what kept me strong and made me hold on even when I badly wanted to let go. Both of them are such patient, wonderful listeners and are always there when I want to pour my heart out. Not a day goes by when I don't laugh with them. They are most definitely the most intelligent people I have ever come across, and I know for sure that when I most want to give up, they will make sure I will not.

I have always said that one true friend is worth thousand relatives and how true is that? I have never felt this happy with any relative of mine. These friends of mine make my life worthwhile. I also realized that it's better to have four to five true and loyal friends than have a hundred fake ones who wont hesitate to talk ill about you behind your back. Friendship is about loyalty, honesty, trust, support, care and love. It is not just about hanging out and taking pictures. It is about sharing, and truly caring.

To you two,
Thank you for making me realize that there are people who care for me and will be there to pick me up when I fall down. You guys are the light I see at the end of the tunnel and as long as you are there I will never be alone. I really, really love you a lot and no matter what happens, I'll always be there for you. :*